Second try-ennui, malaise, dejune

Questions and  being perplexed

The Scream!!! by klth

Okay-SO-This is a total redoing from yesterday’s ill-fated attempts to play with everything in vista enhanced windows word and then bring it with it’s really odd/interesting/playful formatting over from windows-totally bad idea. Vista would not play nicely with my blog program and most of the time not at all.(negation usage error- editorial comment by my grammar check or is my computer really trying to warn me about my state of mind.) It only looked like it was. Which, of course,  I have allowed and enhanced beyond all reasonable stubbornness my usual state of directed computer paranoia and Luddite tendencies. If this isn’t the problem then I have probably slipped into a deeper dream state or having watched Inception one too many times. I did go twice in 3 days. I love Socrates and Jungian psychology!

So here I go again. I am determined I am going to get this right. Well-at least as right as I can get it!

Dry land sea monster that inhabits!

sunrise procrastination-
Not the piece I should be doing,
maybe later!

What is it about summer, especially, August that always leaves me feeling burnt out with a sense of ennui, jejune, and malaise?  Which, as you can see,   leads to the inevitable play with words to try and describe the almost indescribable (that which cannot be described  indescribable sensation>2: surpassing description <indescribable joy or is it undescribable( do the opposite of : reverse (a specified action-describe;  undescribable adjective That cannot be described: incommunicable , indefinable , indescribable , ineffable , inexpressible , unspeakable , unutterable or is it unindescribable( do the opposite of : reverse (a specified action-describe;  undescribale adjective That cannot be described: incommunicable , indefinable , indescribable , ineffable , inexpressible , unspeakable , unutterable).  

SH &AH-My Gecko is bigger then yours!!!

       Now that that is as clear as mud in the hope of being more understandable. One can move onto the desired or not desired result of the fine art of procrastination that has caused the whole problem in the first place.

Of Course, if one procrastinates long enough about half the list can be done because it’s just too wet out of doors and has to wait for next year so come August the whole un-process of me feeling burnt out with a sense of ennui,  jejune,  and malaise can begin anew. Ah a cyclical event I can always look to for a sense of stability.

Appropriate words to describe the occasions of August!

en·nui

   [ahn-wee, ahn-wee; Fr. ahn-nwee] 

–noun

a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satietyor lack of interest; boredom: The endless lecture produced anunbearable ennui.

Perhaps a little to prickled!

Origin: 
1660–70;  < F: boredom; OF enui  displeasure; see annoying!

Perhaps, ennui and related terms are a reaction to knowing that the incredibly long list of things I need to finish before it rains, changes seasons, school starts is never going to be finished in time.  Or perhaps it just knowing  and a reaction that happens every years has left one sense of ennui in the abstract and in the end total annoyance with everything  that relates to august.

Which then leads to kindred spirits-

 such as :

Barriers real and imagined!

Tea leaves thwart those who court catastrophe, 
designing futures where nothing will occur: 
cross the gypsy’s palm and yawning she 
will still predict no perils left to conquer. 
Jeopardy is jejune now: naïve knight 
finds ogres out-of-date and dragons unheard 
of, while blasé princesses indict 
tilts at terror as downright absurd. 

And Bones to pick and chew!

The beast in Jamesian grove will never jump, 

compelling hero’s dull career to crisis; 
and when insouciant angels play God’s trump, 
while bored arena crowds for once look eager, 
hoping toward havoc, neither pleas nor prizes 
shall coax from doom’s blank door lady or tiger." 
— Sylvia Plath

ma·laise

   [ma-leyz, -muh-; Fr. ma-lez] 

Too Warm-Too Busy-Too Lazy!

–noun—Synonyms 
listlessness, tedium, lassitude, languor. 

1.a condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort, often marking the onset of a disease.

2.a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy,or discomfort.

 And then becomes too real!

And, then in defense the list becomes-it becomes---

Jejune: Not interesting; dull: “and they pour forth jejune words and useless empty phrases” (Anthony Trollope).

Just, Another door to finish scraping and painting

And, so begins Fall- with the sudden realization that life is about  to join the tea party(Mad Hatter’s)because everything is too late because I am  late with finishing my list-again! "I am late! I am late! I am late!" so says the Marche Hare. August is gone and you have no clue where August went, because summer becomes shorter as on grows older.

Reality or at least as close as I can come as of late!

Watching and waiting for Spike

The Question!?!

Of course for the last month we have had an extra dog. I am training my father’s puppy. Chene is so delicate compared to this puppy-Spike. Spike must have dachshund in him. His feet are huge, huge mouth compared to Chene’s,  short stout  legged, long body and he is solid, over effusive and totally clumsy in his relations with others be they human or animal.   He uses his body like a battering ram. He’s managed to knock both Chene and Wry into the pond they like to drink from. They now try and stay above him.  He hauls everything about including large potatoes. His greatest joy is get Chene’s stuffed kitten, do a victory lap around the couch and take it all back to his blanket.

I Love you! Lets play!

Foot Grab Foul!

Chene refuses to be in the same room and demands to be picked up and be carried through Spikes territory-the kitchen and the laundry room. Chene will no longer enter the kitchen when the barrier is down. He heads for the top of the couch where Spike can’t go-yet! Personally, I don’t blame him. Spikes feet are huge and he loves to jump on you. Even though he does sit and stay when told. He’s just so full of joy and movement. It’s basically uncontainable in his small body.  Unfortunately Chene hasn’t figure out how to make him sit and stay. 

Quick! Hide me! Pick me up!
P_L_E_A_S_ E!

12 drop cloths later and finally off the looms!

looking up!

I have begun to live under my new insulation under the studio roof. It’s a little like living under a tent made from a duvet. The insulation has  made a huge difference in the temperature up stairs. Keeping the peak is my method of doing away with the claustrophobic/ closed in feeling I get when working on my tall upright looms if the looms are too close to the ceiling.

It's a little like camping under a huge duvet pillow.All soft and drapy! It's amazing how much light is being reflected back down to my work surfaces.

The picture left is a portion of A Navajo weaving that I purchased this summer. It's Churro  with vegetable dyes. The Churro gives it a very interesting hand. The vegetal dying a really nice variegated affect.  The thing that really interest me is that all of the little hachures seem to have been woven at an angle and not pass to pass. It makes the design very active and not passive.  I need to spend some time diagramming this out.

It's September! Fall is here! Time to get back to work. Time to loose the inertia, dejuene, malaise, procrastination, ennui. etc

End of Blog

What have I discovered? I can't use word fonts-or the fancy ones in my blog! It really screws things up. It all needs to be in the five fonts on blogger. Everything I use has to come from inside the blogger program- no dragging cutting or pasting from other programs. I am royally tired of re-doing this blog so this is it! ALso I still have no clue about the  links on this page. They won't go away. Atleast the links belong to people I like and respect. So if they want to be there it's okay by me!

Hiding in my cubby from Spike!

Being reconstructed even as we speak

Sunset called Procrastination

What is it about summer, especially,  August that always leaves me feeling burnt out with a sense of ennui,  jejune,  and malaise?  Which,  as you can see,   leads to the inevitable play with words to try and describe the almost indescribable ( that which cannot be described  indescribable sensation>2: surpassing description <indescribable joy>

 or is it undescribable(do the opposite of : reverse (a specified action-describe;  undescrible adjective That cannot be described: incommunicable , indefinable , indescribable , ineffable , inexpressible , unspeakable , unutterable

or is it unindescribale( do the opposite of : reverse (a specified action-describe;  undescribale adjective That cannot be described: incommunicable , indefinable , indescribable , ineffable , inexpressible , unspeakable , unutterable)  

Now that that is as clear as mud in the hope of being more understandable. One can move onto the desired or not desired result of the fine art of procrastination that has caused the whole problem in the first place.

Am I safe from Spike?

Of Course, if one procrastinates long enough about half the list can be done because it’s just too wet out of doors and has to wait for next year so come August the whole unprocess of me feeling burnt out with a sense of ennui,  jejune,  and malaise can begin anew. Ah! a cyclical event I can always look to for a sense of stability. 

Barriers created for protection from... and why

Appropriate words to describe the occasion of August!

en·nui

   [ahn-wee, ahn-wee; Fr. ahn-nwee] 

–noun

a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satietyor lack of interest; boredom: The endless lecture produced anunbearable ennui.

Origin: 
1660–70;  < F: boredom; OF enui  displeasure; see annoy

Another door to paint an scrape before it rains

The Scream by KLTH

Perhaps  ennui is a reaction to knowing that the incredibly long list of things I need to finish before it rains, changes seasons, school starts is never going to be finished in time.  Or perhaps it just knowing  and a reaction that happens every years has left one sense of ennui in the abstract and in the end total annoyance with everything  that relates to august. 

ma·laise

Finally, off the studio things

   [ma-leyz, -muh-; Fr. ma-lez] 

–noun—Synonyms 

listlessness, tedium, lassitude, languor. 

1.

a condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort, oftenmarking the onset of a disease.

2.

a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy,or discomfort.

 And then it  becomes real.

And then in defense "the list" becomes

Jejune: Not interesting; dull: “and they pour forth jejune words and useless empty phrases” (Anthony Trollope).

Which then leads to kindred spirits and favourite insights by someone else-- such as :

Tea leaves thwart those who court catastrophe, 
designing futures where nothing will occur: 
cross the gypsy’s palm and yawning she 
will still predict no perils left to conquer. 
Jeopardy is jejune now: naïve knight 
finds ogres out-of-date and dragons unheard 
of, while blasé princesses indict 
tilts at terror as downright absurd. 
The beast in Jamesian grove will never jump, 
compelling hero’s dull career to crisis; 
and when insouciant angels play God’s trump, 
while bored arena crowds for once look eager,      
hoping toward havoc, neither pleas nor prizes 
shall coax from doom’s blank door lady or tiger." 
— Sylvia Plath

And so begins Fall- with the sudden realization that life is about  to join the tea party(Mad Hatter’s)because everything is too late because your late! I am late! I am late! I am late so says the Marche Hare. August is gone and I have no clue where August went, because summer becomes shorter as on grows older. 

Add caption

Detail of a Navajo rug I purchased at antique store.
The hatches look like they are woven at an angle.
The rug is also Churro. It has an interesting hand.

I am having way to much playing with this program. I can't believe how much I am learning. So perhaps I'll write a little longer about real life and events. Even though I managed to delete my first attempt.

Of course for the last month we have had an extra dog. I am training my father’s puppy. Chene is so delicate compared to this puppy-Spike. Spike must have dachshund in him. His feet are huge, huge mouth compared to Chene’s,  short stout  legged, long body and he is solid, over effusive and totally clumsy in his relations with others be they human or animal.   He uses his body like a battering ram. He’s manage to knock both Chene and Wry into the pond they like to drink from. They now try and stay above him.  He hauls everything about including  large potatoes. His greatest joy is get Chene’s  stuffed kitten, do a victory lap around the couch and take it all back to his blanket. Chene refuses to be in the same room and demands  to be picked  up and be carried through Spikes territory-the kitchen and the laundry room. Chene will no longer enter the kitchen when the barrier is down. He heads for the top of the couch  where Spike can’t go-yet! Personally, I don’t blame him. Spikes feet are huge and he loves to jump on you. Even though he does sit  and stay when told. He’s just so full of joy and movement. It’s basically uncontainable in his small body.  Unfortunately Chene hasn’t figure out how to make him sit and stay. 

Functioning-sort of.

No name-finished before I left
one of three done on new Mirrix looom

So many things have happened in the last 3 weeks I feel like I am on sensory and emotional overload. So many good things have happened and so many not so good things have happened . I really just want to retreat into weaving and not deal with the rest of the world. There is a novel(Feehan’s Water bound) that I have been reading-one of the ones that I use to relax with-probably more related to the pulp fiction dime novels of the past-nothing else to recommend it-other then it holds my attention and has nothing to do with reality, but it does end the continual mind cycling that I can get into. The heroine is a high functioning Autistic. There are some  beautiful descriptions of her retreating  and what she is retreating into in her own mind.  Being soothed by pattern, patterns and flow of water and her internal world of colour and sensation

Kona Pink

Kona Orange

that I can identify with when I weave. So tempting, soothing, focused, and comforting. On the other hand she also reaches a point where too much external stimuli effects her in extremely negative ways. She retreats back into the patterns and her safety net regime. I think I am ready…My loom and all its promises is warped-unfortunately, it has been warped  for 3 weeks and nothing has had time to happen. The only thing standing in my way of weaving  is finishing this blog as per my promise to myself. Doing  it every 2 weeks that had has slid to 3 weeks this time with just too much and too many events happenings etc. . 

Marge and Chene-a visit both enjoyed for almost 2 years.
Marge helped me train him to be gentle with fragile people.
He always minded her and protected her from all perceived threats
-some times good sometimes not so good. 

Marge and favourite Hagen loom

By now many of you know that my good friend Marge Crueger died while I was in Albuquerque. Next week would have been her birthday. I am so glad I got to see her again and tell her much I cared for her before I left. I am re posting a couple of her pictures and a little of her work. She was so ready. She hated being bed bound and not being able to do something with her hands. She left a small tapestry undone that I will finish weaving for her as promised. She  hated the idea of leaving a tapestry unfinished so it's now for me to complete. .

4 of Marge's pieces including Skunk Cabbage

It amazes me how age effects different people. My Uncle Ray and Aunt Donna are roughly the same age as my father. They are still snow skiing and running all over creation. My father is the same age is house bound and can barely walk and function. He does love the puppy I found for him a couple of months ago. It is so odd watching people talk around and over him like he’s not there by people who are professionals that should know better. It’s like one becomes invisible when one reaches a certain age. it's either that or people lapse into baby talk with the elderly.  It’s no wonder that some of the old retreat into themselves. The bad part is that we do it in love, kindness and duty. I need to keep telling myself this while trying to deal with another family member. It all makes me wonder how Spencer and I’ll approach old age. Does make one think.

So Sought After, First place Small Expressions

All this has been tempered with the really great events of my life. My trip to Albuquerque was definitely beyond imagination. My show at Village Wools looked really good. I don’t usually do one person shows, because it takes so many small pieces to fill up a space. There were 19 pieces. I also had a piece in the ATA small format exhibit. There was some amazing work in the show. The catalogue is fantastic. They were able to photograph Kona Orange well. My colour palette can be difficult to photograph accurately. Who would have thought that the It’s about Time exhibit would still be going on after all these years or who have thought that the fundamental  nature(large format) of popular tapestry would have changed so much to allow small format!!!! It has gone from no venues to many venues-so cool-often in the same shows. Asa’s Rock's was in Bedazzled. In Small Expressions I took a first prize! I have now been in Small Expressions’ 13-14 times (I think) won a first(2?), second, third, and was disqualified for a third prize last year because there was problems with my framing. I saved the letter to use as an example about the wisdom of using good framing and mounting techniques.

Village Wools  Class, Albuquerque, New Mexico

My Village Wools class was so much fun. I really like teaching this class and will offer it again. It was fun working with students that had done some tapestry weaving. We were able to get in to more advanced techniques. The mind does some interesting things. There was this dressed headless mannequin that every time I would walked by her it was like it was a real person. It would startle me every time. It was like having an extra class member-rather spooky.

Favourite Cartoon found on my loom one morning in Albuquerque with Fluffy becoming Chene. In case you can't read the text it says Chene/Fluffy decided to test a long standing rule: Never mess with Grandma while she is weaving.

So many Clouds, taken in the midle of a cloud burst

Sadly the one class didn’t have enough students, but have been invited back to teach another time-date not set. Would love to teach again at Village Wools-so maybe…

Silver Repousse Milagros

In the Craft Museum in Santa Fe I saw some beautiful silver work both modern and several hundred Milagros.

More Silver Milagros

Detail of Irvin Trujillo's Ikat

The Whole Rug-Thanks for allowing me to use these images Irvin!

Chamayo purses woven by Shirley Gallegos

There were so many exhibits to see, but I did manage to see all of the tapestry exhibits. Really enjoyed them. It seemed that every place I looked there was tapestry. Many of the small towns we traveled through at several weaving shops with people weaving. What a trip! I loved seeing Lisa and Irwin Trujillo and Centinela . My husband now owns a T-shirt that he acquired from their shop. I have two beautiful Chimayo style purses for Pat and myself. The craft museum had 6-7 of his weavings of Irvin's. It was so nice seeing old friends at the ATA get together Saturday evening. I also enjoyed the lectures and the digislam. Attended lectures by Lynne Curran and James Kohler all work in such opposite ways. I could never work in either’s style or way. I prefer my contained disciplined  chaos.  The digislam is always a curiosity to me. It's nice to see the different styles of weaving. BUT,  I am with Lynn it’s really kinda of scary seeing small format work magnified so many times. Interestingly a good design will always be a good design no matter how many times it is enlarged. I had some interesting reactions to the majority of modern  South West weaving that  I saw. It has so little detail. It’s big bold, flashy, beautiful, erudite, but it  never seems to feel quite personal and then leaves me wondering. Intellectually I understand it and it's beautiful.  I never seem to feel that way about the more traditional SW weaving as embodied in the Trujillo’s weaving-both Lisa and Irwin’s and the historical work that I saw. I really loved the Ikat designs and was amazed at the skill it takes to get it right.

I acquired a lovely beater that fits my hand nicely and is the right size for my hand from Al Snipes. Thank you- AL- I love it. Your work is so beautiful. Also, the wooden needle that I am going to be sharing. I can hardly wait to receive the 3 other beaters that I am purchasing for my students to try-a left handed, right handed and an ambidextrous in beautiful cherry and walnut. Still love my Shannock and fork beaters. The shaping of All’s beaters may be a little easier on my hand though. I am definitely looking at more hand surgery in the very near future. My thumb decided to finish locking up on this trip.

Storm Clous and Hoodoos

Spencer and I had a lovely evening with Dianne Kennedy and her husband at Zia in Santa Fe. She was so full of historical information and first contact information that I am so interested in. We are going to try and hook up when I teach in Arizona in September and see the dancers in my break between classes. Spencer really enjoyed talking with you all to.

Hopi Embroidery or Brocade

When I was Albuquerque we went to the Pueblo Cultural center and I was finally able to get a closer non- picture oriented look at Hopi Embroidery. It is so related to soumack, but pictures of the finished product have always been really bad. I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right or which side was the right side. Just not enough detail. My picture that a friend gave me what seems like a hundred years ago-Sorry Yella, but you even apologized at the time. I can now say that I was/am doing it correctly. Waht a relief!!!

It’s going to take me weeks to sort all of my information out and get it in a useful fashion. I managed to overload both cards in my cameras-2 gigs each. There were many things I didn’t get a chance to photograph because it rained and thundered the whole time we were there. In Oregon when it rains I can still usually take pictures through the rain drops, but these were mega drops that flowed over everything. Next time I think I’ll borrow Kathy’s underwater camera. It would have been a great help.

Enough for now!! There is just so much more, but it was good to get home to Chene. I really missed my mutt. Ready for a ride in his carseat.
TIME TO WEAVE!!!- Besides-I have totally messed up the program I am working in and It's shifting all over the place.

Cheers,

kathe